With Great Confidence Comes Great Responsiblity...

What can be more becoming on a person than self-confidence?  Or the question might be what can be more persuasive than self-confidence?  ...more blinding than self-confidence?

This week has been a great week for me, having nothing to do with the bathroom scale or the fit of my tight clothes or my food choices (all of which I continue to ignore and are no different than my last blog entry).  And yet, because I feel on top of everything (else), my extra 20 stupid, mid-life pounds seem so trivial.  Who cares?!  Life is great, I'm healthy, I'm able, work is great, home is super, Winter is in its death throes, windows are open...

What's up with this mood?  I'm afraid to overanalyze, it really doesn't matter.  My ever-changing hormones could be the culprit.  Who cares?!  The whiff of Spring in the air?  Could be.  Whatever the reason for this jolt of optimism and confidence, I am grateful.  I feel a little younger, a little more buoyant and yes, even a little prettier.

But I must be careful, yes.  I must harness this feeling for Good, not Evil.  I must not remain blinded to the benefits of healthy food/life choices... unless I want these piddly little stupid annoying 20 lbs to turn into 30 ... 40 ... 50 ... I won't temper this mood, hell no.  But with this power comes great responsibility.  To myself. 

With confidence, I will strap on my sneakers instead of a food bag.  With confidence I will not beat myself up.  With confidence I will keep this as low-key as possible because seriously: what's more annoying than a coworker/friend/wife who has nothing to complain about?!

 

 

 

Sweet exhaustion

It began with an unbidden question popping up out of nowhere; "Hm... did I dry out my tent before last packing it up?" The fact that the last time I used it was almost two years ago engendered images of my sweet little one-man tent quietly disintegrating into moldy dust.  Horrors!  I zipped upstairs, dug out my gear, unpacked it all and ... ~trumpets of triumph~ all is well.

"...Now that my gear is strewn across my bed, let me take inventory... "  I began to revel in the feeling of nylon and polypropalene.  The glorious perfume of neoprene and well-worn polyester.  It's a bit ironic that the best equipment for comfortably enduring nature is made of man-made fiber.  With the exception of wool, of course.

Anyway, from there I thought it'd be a good idea to weigh my base-gear and perhaps strap up and take a walk with Harley.  Base gear: Tent, footprint, sleeping bag, sleeping bag liner, cook kit, toiletries, 1st aid kit, water filter, hiking poles, camp shoes, water bladder, backpack and pack cover.  This, plus some extra line and sun-hat all weighed 18 lbs.  Where I heading out for the trail, I'd also have cooking fuel, food, water, a change of clothes and rain gear.  For a week-long hike, my pack weighs about 30'ish lbs.

But a week-long hike is a few months down the road.  Today, with my trusty side-kick Harley the Uber-Hound, I headed out on what I affectionately call "The Loop".  5 miles of dirt roads, country views... basically a teaser of all things I love about being in the woods.  For 2 lovely hours, I was outside, in the woods'ish, feeling the comforting weight of my pack on my back while feeling the weight of the world drop off.  Bliss.

We got home around 1PM and I promptly ate lunch (healthy!!  Salad w/ avocado, apple, carrots, peppers and ginger dressing) and crashed on the couch for half an hour.  Harley is still crashed out at 6:00.  That boy needs more exercise.  So do I.  Today is a good start.

 

 

Base gear, minus food, water, extra clothes and cooking fuel.

 

18 pounds in one tidy little package.

 

Look Mom, no snow!

 

Spring thaw, babbling brook...

 

Based on the ears-o-meter, wind is approximately 14 mph.

 

So tired, he missed his target altogether.  "The floor is just fine, Mom.  Really."

 

 

 

 

Avoidance Behavior

While sitting on the couch with a belly full of dinner, mindlessly munching on something sweet .. a cookie, a piece of pie, a pastry, it doesn't matter ... I had an epiphany.  Just like I've been ignoring my bathroom scale and my reflection in the mirror, so have I been ignoring the blog.  Whyyyy?  Because they are all reminders of my stalled-nay-negative progress.  It's the same ol' story and I know exactly what to do to be successful, and yet... here I am.  ~sigh~

So what to do, what to do?  I have to do something.  I have to do something for more than one week in a row.  I'm getting reeeeally thick around the middle.  Mannnnnn.  tsk.  See?  There's nothing to say.

It's not surprising that I'm gaining weight... but I'm bothered by where the weight is settling.  I used to be a hips and thigh girl, gaining weight from the bottom up, losing it from the top down.  But this time, I'm starting to resemble the middle-aged, apple-shaped, menopausal woman I'm pretending NOT to be.  Harrumph!!!

I have a memory of saying "I plan on aging gracefully".  That was when I thought all I had to worry about were crow's feet and gray hair.  How wonderfully naïve I was.

Okay... I feel a little better now.  Thanks for listening to me grumble.  (grumble grumble freakin' grumble.)

I have been eating moderately, although late night has been a challenge (note aforementioned cookies and pastries) and I have been exercising regularly, though not vigorously.  I'll step it up.  I'll get more sleep.  I'll stop the late night dessert binges.  I'll be a big girl, stop my b*tchin, stop this avoidance behavior (but I'm so good at it!), suck it up and just do what needs to be done.  Right?  Can I do that?  D'ja think so? 

My goal: to be this trim and fit again within 6 months.