I couldn't WAIT to be a grownup. Now that I've been one for many ~ahem~ decades, I imagine being young again. I don't really wish to be younger... but I sure wouldn't mind having a younger metabolism.
Wednesday was my birthday. And while I was drifting off to sleep for the night, it occurred to me that Thursday would be THE PERFECT day to start anew. Better than New Year's day in fact. My birthdays, our birthdays, your birthdays mark the beginning of a new year on this planet. If you want to be technical and take into account the nine months prior, then that kind of complicates things... I'm choosing to not be technical. In any case, regardless of the day of the week or the time of year, our birthdays ARE the perfect time to make resolutions, if you are so inclined.
So there I am in bed, feeling a small, sleepy rush of enthusiasm. "I can do this" I thought. "Small changes" I reasoned. "First kill the sugar and~" zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
It's now just three days later and I wish I could report some semblance of an attempt towards a single small, incremental change... but alas, I cannot. I'm really becoming a bit concerned about this. About myself. I'm continuing to gain weight. NONE of my jeans fit. I don't mean just a little bit, I mean not at all. Can't even squeeze into them for Casual Friday at work anymore.
What do I want to say? "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" That's what. But of course it is. It's completely my fault. And I feel frustrated and grumpy. And old...ish.
Were my metabolism what it used to be, well then, that would be another story. A story of heavily (heavenly) sugared cinnamon toast, monsterously thick and simple bologna sandwiches on white bread and warm, toasty, frosted Pop Tarts. Good lord, it's amazing I didn't have a diabetic puberty. Yum ~er~ I mean Ugh.
Hm... seems my childhood comfort foods were all ... kind'a ... square.
Embrace the W!
Friday, January 16, 2015
Thursday, January 8, 2015
No new news today. I'm settling down for the night after a very busy few days at work and the anticipation of many more to come. The days zip by, yay! But then I get home and I'm even LESS inclined to exercise 'cuz I's tired! Boooooo.
Yesterday's ice cream craving was too much for me to ignore. But oh my goodness it was tasty.
And truly, no matter how successful I may be with my food choices (lately: not so much), if I don't work in some consistent exercise, then I'm just stuck at this weight. I know that. You know that. We all know that. And we also know the last thing anybody wants to do after a long day in the office and sub-zero temps outside is ...well ... ANYthing. Except maybe eat an ice cream cone and go to bed.
(munch munch slurp crunch) Goodnight. ~snork~
Yesterday's ice cream craving was too much for me to ignore. But oh my goodness it was tasty.
And truly, no matter how successful I may be with my food choices (lately: not so much), if I don't work in some consistent exercise, then I'm just stuck at this weight. I know that. You know that. We all know that. And we also know the last thing anybody wants to do after a long day in the office and sub-zero temps outside is ...well ... ANYthing. Except maybe eat an ice cream cone and go to bed.
(munch munch slurp crunch) Goodnight. ~snork~
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Brrrrrrrrrr...
It is ARCTIC outside!! Brrrrrr! And what better way to stave off the cold than with a nice, cozy, warming, comfy... ice cream cone?!!! ACK!!! I haven't actually put one together. Yet. But it's a'callin' me from the freezer.
Dinner was reasonable and well-portioned (baked chicken breast, steamed asparagus and a corn on the cob) as was lunch but a little less so (a large cup of cheesy broccoli soup) as was breakfast, though not very balanced (two slices rye toast w/ Earth Balance butter and a glass of chocolate almond milk). I snacked on a pear, an apple, several herby crackers and holy crap a seriously sweet and delicious Milky Way candy bar. If I were to allow myself one daily sugar blast, I guess the Milky Way would be it, huh? Psh. You're no fun.
It seems everything I've read/heard these past couple months about how to:
Shall I indulge in a small chocolate ice cream cone or call it night, brush my teeth, read a few pages of my book d'jour? I know what I SHOULD do but... what would YOU do?
Dinner was reasonable and well-portioned (baked chicken breast, steamed asparagus and a corn on the cob) as was lunch but a little less so (a large cup of cheesy broccoli soup) as was breakfast, though not very balanced (two slices rye toast w/ Earth Balance butter and a glass of chocolate almond milk). I snacked on a pear, an apple, several herby crackers and holy crap a seriously sweet and delicious Milky Way candy bar. If I were to allow myself one daily sugar blast, I guess the Milky Way would be it, huh? Psh. You're no fun.
It seems everything I've read/heard these past couple months about how to:
- Lose weight
- Reduce inflammation
- Sleep better
- Feel younger
- Everything I want to do to better my physical health
Shall I indulge in a small chocolate ice cream cone or call it night, brush my teeth, read a few pages of my book d'jour? I know what I SHOULD do but... what would YOU do?
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
2015...Already??!
Goodness gracious. I'm reminded of something my mother told me many, many (manymanymany) years ago... I may even have still been in my single-digits; she said "Honey, you'll find out one day that time moves faster when you get older". Oh how I tried to wrap my head around that. I couldn't. Until it happened. Until one day I heard myself utter "where does the time g~... oooohhhhhhhh."
Anyway, it's almost 2 weeks into the new year (Happy New Year, by the way) and I've been avoiding the blog way before two weeks ago. So many reasons to blog, so many more excuses not to. But mostly it's losing the balance between Blog-Equals-Motivation (good!) and Blog-Equals-Accountability (baaaaaad). ~siiiggggghhhhh~
I have nothing to share that I haven't shared a hundred times already, except maybe this: I am officially at my all time heaviest. Seriously; my lifetime heaviest. Please allow me a silent moment of self pity and wallow... ... ... ... ... ... (whimper whimper) ... ... ... ... ...
Thank you.
It feels like I'm trying to jump out from a diabolical round of Double Dutch.
Benjamin Franklin went to France
To teach the ladies how to dance.
First the heel, and then the toe,
Spin around and out you go
~jump jump jump~ okay ... okay ... out I go ... wait a minute ... jump jump jump ... out I ... out I ... out I ... hold on ... jump jump jump ... First the heal, and then the toe, Spin around and out I ... hold on ... jump jump jump ...
Maybe if I skipped the cookies for skipping rope, I'd actually friggin' lose some weight!!! ARGHHHH!!! Even my analogies are workin' against me! What the hell, man!!!
So what am I to do, my faithful readers? I motivate myself so easily, and fall off the wagon just as easily. January brings convenient excuses, just getting through the foodiest season of the year and entering hibernation season (we're expecting sub-zero temperatures the next couple days, holy cow).
I have everything I need to be successful: a modest goal (only 20 lbs weight loss), a treadmill, free weights, calm space in which to exercise, meditate and practice yoga, a dog that will take me for a walk any time I want, and just today I noticed it was a liiiiittle brighter than usual outside when I left the office (which is motivating in and of itself). But I'm mired in this state of stagnancy. And I'm feeling a little depressed about it. And I'm feeling kind'a old. And beat up. And uncomfortable in my own skin, not to mention my dainties. It's a sad situation when my bra (my once favorite bra) becomes uncomfortably tight without the benefit of needing a larger cup size. Know what I'm sayin'? At least I'd look better proportioned if The Girls gained weight with the rest of me.
Whatever. Now I'm just harping.
And now I'll stop. Y'know... I actually feel a little better. I promise to try to be more diligent with my blogging (if any of you are still keeping an eye on me, even). Pictures will resume. And I'll try to get over myself and start making my way back to health and vibrancy. I have things to do this year afterall: backpacking trips, yoga retreats, fishing vacations, motorcycle rides, lunch time jogs ... basically everything I used to do with ease.
Anyway, it's almost 2 weeks into the new year (Happy New Year, by the way) and I've been avoiding the blog way before two weeks ago. So many reasons to blog, so many more excuses not to. But mostly it's losing the balance between Blog-Equals-Motivation (good!) and Blog-Equals-Accountability (baaaaaad). ~siiiggggghhhhh~
I have nothing to share that I haven't shared a hundred times already, except maybe this: I am officially at my all time heaviest. Seriously; my lifetime heaviest. Please allow me a silent moment of self pity and wallow... ... ... ... ... ... (whimper whimper) ... ... ... ... ...
Thank you.
It feels like I'm trying to jump out from a diabolical round of Double Dutch.
Benjamin Franklin went to France
To teach the ladies how to dance.
First the heel, and then the toe,
Spin around and out you go
~jump jump jump~ okay ... okay ... out I go ... wait a minute ... jump jump jump ... out I ... out I ... out I ... hold on ... jump jump jump ... First the heal, and then the toe, Spin around and out I ... hold on ... jump jump jump ...
Maybe if I skipped the cookies for skipping rope, I'd actually friggin' lose some weight!!! ARGHHHH!!! Even my analogies are workin' against me! What the hell, man!!!
So what am I to do, my faithful readers? I motivate myself so easily, and fall off the wagon just as easily. January brings convenient excuses, just getting through the foodiest season of the year and entering hibernation season (we're expecting sub-zero temperatures the next couple days, holy cow).
I have everything I need to be successful: a modest goal (only 20 lbs weight loss), a treadmill, free weights, calm space in which to exercise, meditate and practice yoga, a dog that will take me for a walk any time I want, and just today I noticed it was a liiiiittle brighter than usual outside when I left the office (which is motivating in and of itself). But I'm mired in this state of stagnancy. And I'm feeling a little depressed about it. And I'm feeling kind'a old. And beat up. And uncomfortable in my own skin, not to mention my dainties. It's a sad situation when my bra (my once favorite bra) becomes uncomfortably tight without the benefit of needing a larger cup size. Know what I'm sayin'? At least I'd look better proportioned if The Girls gained weight with the rest of me.
Whatever. Now I'm just harping.
And now I'll stop. Y'know... I actually feel a little better. I promise to try to be more diligent with my blogging (if any of you are still keeping an eye on me, even). Pictures will resume. And I'll try to get over myself and start making my way back to health and vibrancy. I have things to do this year afterall: backpacking trips, yoga retreats, fishing vacations, motorcycle rides, lunch time jogs ... basically everything I used to do with ease.
![]() |
I WILL look like this again. |
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Recovering...
...from a visit to "I don't give a &%*!" world. Oof.
After a week of consistent exercising and mindful food choices, I was rewarded with a 3 lb weight gain. Not a plateau. A gain. 3 lbs. I think I stood on the scale for a whole minute, frozen with disbelief. Then came anger. A week of it. "If I'm going to gain, g*ddamnit, I'm going to know why!!!" So I ate. Cheese, chips, butter, chocolate, cupcakes, muffins, bagels, sugar, sugar, sugar. ~sigh~
Last night I finally hit the wall with a double helping of take-out Chinese, and woke up this morning with a sense of resolve I haven't felt in a few weeks. It felt good. And I'll take this refreshing perspective one day at a time. No big claims, no big goals... just day-by-day mindfulness. The best I can. Though I won't be stepping on the scale for a couple more weeks, that's for damn sure.
Today my goal was to eat "clean". Here's how I did:
1 cup of lemon/ginger tea. No sweetener, no sugar, nothin'.
An egg (just one) and mushroom scramble, cooked with a little bit of coconut oil, on two slices of sprouted grain toast and sliced tomato.
1 apple, 1 tangerine.
Large salad: mixed greens, 1/2 avocado, red grapes, red peppers, onion, carrots, tomato, cucumber and 2 Tbsp ginger dressing.
1 cup decaf Earl Gray tea w/ stevia and a splash of soy creamer.
A handful of raw pecans.
If I stop eating now, and that's the plan, it will have been a very successful food day. Being only 7:30pm on a Saturday, I may have to fight some sugar cravings before I hit the sack. That's okay. I'm still feeling that resolve I woke with this morning.
One day at a time, ladies and gents. One day at a time.
After a week of consistent exercising and mindful food choices, I was rewarded with a 3 lb weight gain. Not a plateau. A gain. 3 lbs. I think I stood on the scale for a whole minute, frozen with disbelief. Then came anger. A week of it. "If I'm going to gain, g*ddamnit, I'm going to know why!!!" So I ate. Cheese, chips, butter, chocolate, cupcakes, muffins, bagels, sugar, sugar, sugar. ~sigh~
Last night I finally hit the wall with a double helping of take-out Chinese, and woke up this morning with a sense of resolve I haven't felt in a few weeks. It felt good. And I'll take this refreshing perspective one day at a time. No big claims, no big goals... just day-by-day mindfulness. The best I can. Though I won't be stepping on the scale for a couple more weeks, that's for damn sure.
Today my goal was to eat "clean". Here's how I did:
1 cup of lemon/ginger tea. No sweetener, no sugar, nothin'.
An egg (just one) and mushroom scramble, cooked with a little bit of coconut oil, on two slices of sprouted grain toast and sliced tomato.
1 apple, 1 tangerine.
Large salad: mixed greens, 1/2 avocado, red grapes, red peppers, onion, carrots, tomato, cucumber and 2 Tbsp ginger dressing.
1 cup decaf Earl Gray tea w/ stevia and a splash of soy creamer.
A handful of raw pecans.
If I stop eating now, and that's the plan, it will have been a very successful food day. Being only 7:30pm on a Saturday, I may have to fight some sugar cravings before I hit the sack. That's okay. I'm still feeling that resolve I woke with this morning.
One day at a time, ladies and gents. One day at a time.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Experiment roundup...
Not a lot to report since my last post. I'm no lighter/skinnier, though I am on a good rip with my treadmill; putting in 30 minutes every other day, now alternating 90 seconds of jogging with 120 seconds of walking. Not too-too shabby.
Getting back in the habit of taking pix... so a quick montage from last week.
(Pictures already queueing up for my next post.)
Coming soon: comments on our first snow of the season, much more food & exercise commentary, and a little snark where appropriate.
Getting back in the habit of taking pix... so a quick montage from last week.
(Pictures already queueing up for my next post.)
![]() |
Two cans of corn. Same brand, same everything... except for their size and one is vacuum-packed... |
An experimental batch of: corn, quinoa and roasted parsnip... |
...divided into 4 servings equated to 7 WW points each. A healthy, yummy, protein-packed, vegan lunch. Though I think roasted carrots would be better in this concoction. |
5 oz grilled tuna, roasted root veggies (carrots & parsnip), ~1/4 cup chickpeas and some steamed broccoli of sorts. 6 points. Nice! |
Salad without the lettuce: apple, carrot, cuke, red pepper, radish, onion and a Tbs. Good Seasons Italian dressing. 2 pts. VERY nice! |
Hello old friends. |
Coming soon: comments on our first snow of the season, much more food & exercise commentary, and a little snark where appropriate.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Ghosts of efforts past...
...There it loomed. Hiding in the corner. Taunting me with its silence. My vacuum cleaner? Nooooo. The toilet bowl brush? Euw ~I mean nooooo. It was my treadmill. Patiently waiting... and waiting ... and waiting. Well, today I approached my old friend with downcast eyes and humility in my heart. And you know what? I was welcomed back as if I were never gone. "Hop on up! Let's go, we have some miles to trudge today!" So after work today I dusted off my sneakers and there I was, alternating 90 seconds of walking with 60 seconds of running for a half hour.
I was grumpy when I got home. No particular reason, though I may have been subconsciously planning to bail on the treadmill and was already feeling disappointment with myself. But surprise, surprise, I didn't bail. And I got'ta tell ya, I feel pretty damned great about it. I'm lovin' me my endorphins right now. I even felt a drop of sweat trace down my face as I was cooling down. Hello another old friend!
My 3rd visit with the nutritionist was earlier this week and the only thing that I brought to the table was an extra pound. I'd like to believe it was all in my clothes and... well... yeah, that's it. I'd like to believe it, that's all. :-) I'm not stressing about it because I still have a happy glow from my treadmill experience earlier tonight.
The past two weeks I've resurrected my WW food journal and have been keeping diligent track of my points. Truly, my downfall is evenings after dinner. I want to snack. I want dessert. I want my Nutella concoctions and salted chocolate and Skinny Cows. I've been keeping within my allowed points, but it's very obvious to me that my late night snacking is my weak link here. Or it may just be another demonstration of my raging sugar addiction. Oof.
I took some pictures over the last couple weeks of several extra yummy meals. I'll post them next time, for the sake of publishing this blog entry tonight. So, on that note, it's time to publish and call it a night. I'm tired. It's almost like I exercised or sumthin'.
I was grumpy when I got home. No particular reason, though I may have been subconsciously planning to bail on the treadmill and was already feeling disappointment with myself. But surprise, surprise, I didn't bail. And I got'ta tell ya, I feel pretty damned great about it. I'm lovin' me my endorphins right now. I even felt a drop of sweat trace down my face as I was cooling down. Hello another old friend!
My 3rd visit with the nutritionist was earlier this week and the only thing that I brought to the table was an extra pound. I'd like to believe it was all in my clothes and... well... yeah, that's it. I'd like to believe it, that's all. :-) I'm not stressing about it because I still have a happy glow from my treadmill experience earlier tonight.
The past two weeks I've resurrected my WW food journal and have been keeping diligent track of my points. Truly, my downfall is evenings after dinner. I want to snack. I want dessert. I want my Nutella concoctions and salted chocolate and Skinny Cows. I've been keeping within my allowed points, but it's very obvious to me that my late night snacking is my weak link here. Or it may just be another demonstration of my raging sugar addiction. Oof.
I took some pictures over the last couple weeks of several extra yummy meals. I'll post them next time, for the sake of publishing this blog entry tonight. So, on that note, it's time to publish and call it a night. I'm tired. It's almost like I exercised or sumthin'.
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