Event horizon

Okay everybody, my friends, my lurkers, tomorrow is it!  New year, renewed health, new habits, new successes.  No excuses, no reasons for or expectations of failure.  It's all about positive thinking.  Optimism.  Ownership.  Freedom.  Joy.  Challenges will be met face-on.  Fears will be vanquished.

My best friend lent me a movie back in August; "Finding Joe".  I'll let you research it and watch it if it sounds like something you'd enjoy.  I can tell you it had a profound effect on me... and the single message that shot straight into my soul was that we are all golden.  To quote Alan Cohen directly, "Each one of us is gold by nature.  We were born golden, born high, born knowing, born connected to our bliss..."  I'm looking forward to starting my journey back to that knowing.  To that bliss.

For those that share my frame of mind, I know you get it and I'm grateful you get me.  For those who are scrunching their noses and thinking "holy cr@p, where's this foo-foo sh*t coming from?!" it really just boils down to me wanting to be healthy again, and not holding myself hostage to all my "I would but... I could but..." excuses.  Thus this blog.  Thus Weight Watchers.

So, lots of words and lofty thoughts, lots of resolutions without actually calling them as such, and perhaps a nice chunk of influence from the fact that I'll be turning 50 years old in a few weeks.  Yeah... holy cr@p indeed!  Ack!!

Tomorrow: food pix, WWpoints, snarky remarks and more pix of The Boyz. 

Happy New Year everybody.  Love, hugs, handshakes, smiles, laughs, winks and my heart to you all.

 

 

 

 

Tea, meals, snacks & love.

Just a straight up food report today... My typical food choices when I'm paying attention, however I'm not strictly measuring/weighing portions.  Yet.  Soon though.  Eep!

Several cups of tea through out the day... High octane with raw sugar & soy creamer (pictured), unsweetened mint & chamomile, and decaf Earl Grey with methadone.  In an attempt to regulate my sleep, I'm thinking of implementing a caffeine cut-off time of 3PM...ish.

Breakfast: Multigrain waffles w/ maple syrup, strawberries, banana, apple (with sprinkle of cinnamon) and two fake breakfast "sausage" patties.

Lunch: Progresso vegetable soup, Vermont Bread English muffin w/ Earth Balance "butter" and a handful of seedless grapes.  VERY yummy and cozy after spending half an hour outside in the steadily dropping temperatures.  Brrrrrrrr.

Afternoon grazing ~er~ snacking: more grapes...

 

...and savory KAME crackers.

 

Dinner: Marinated baked cod, sautéed asparagus and basmati rice.  My "animal protein" for the day.

 

 

Yummy yummy for my tummy... and thighs and hips and @ss... Tonight's indulgence.  I blame Santa.  He gives us one of these chocolate oranges in our stockings every year.  To not enjoy it would just be rude if not downright sacrilegious. 

 

 

But NOTHING is more delicious than a fat-free, zero-calorie Pita Dog: 

 

 

 

 

Transitions.

It's that time of year again when we find ourselves buffeted between post-Christmas glow (aka "that was great, I'm sure glad it's over) and pre New Year anticipation (resolutions).  You already know mine: lose a few pounds, get that sugar-monkey off my back, resume some physical exercise...

An extra element for me this year is transitioning to a new job.  I'm excited and ready and feeling very positive about the whole thing.  However, I had to say goodbye to folks with whom I spent the majority of my waking hours for the past 8 years.  Especially difficult was leaving my team with whom I spent the last 2.  We WILL be keeping in touch and it's all good etc, etc, etc... but I know I'm feeling sad because I feel the need to organize and tidy up, control my immediate environment, which is what I do when I'm chewing on emotional things.

As it is, I can concentrate my consolidation/tidying/organizing efforts on my food plans, exercise plans, pantry-prepping and all things Weight Watchers.  And maybe clean out my car.  And vacuum a little bit.  And prep the basement for all the working out I'll be doing soon.  Harley could use a bath.  And the bathrooms could use a quick wipe down.  My clothes closet is a complete disaster...

I'm going to miss you guys a lot.

 

The Carb Cabinet: tamed. 

Spice cabinet, before...

 

...and after.

 

Breakfast before: banana, flax seed, vanilla almond milk, frozen blueberries, lettuce (no spinach or kale in the fridge), cinnamon, ground ginger, ground clove.

Breakfast after.  Purple: my favorite flavor.

 

 

And because a fruit smoothie is to breakfast like a Leggo piece is to Mortal Combat:

 

Breakfast #2: Another batch of veggie "hash" (sweet potato, mushrooms, Brussels, salt, pepper, onion powder), a fried egg and a slice of Vermont "Yoga" bread toast. 

 

Yum.

The rest of the day I grazed.  A weekend habit.  A habit to be broken.  Dinner was a big ol' salad with feta cheese, crispy rice noodles and ginger dressing. 

 

 

Again: yum.

 

 



~Burp~

Will somebody please tell me when Christmas became a food-centric holiday!  What?  Never? Then it was just me.  ~sigh~  I won't beat myself up too much longer, but still: what the hell am I doing?!!  I won't be sneaking up on the starting line, I'll be lumbering towards it. 

I'm declaring New Year day as THE starting line.  Who's with me?  This gives us (like that?  "Us"? huh?) ... that gives us 5 days to queue everything up. 

Hello (more) old friends:

By the way, I'm 1/4 lb heavier than my "nice, round number" from 5 days ago.  ~snork~

No, I don't have a carb problem.

We've all heard the carbohydrate stories from the extreme "all carbs are bad" argument to more realistic "good carbs vs bad carbs" as well as the ever-present "all things in moderation" point of view to which I subscribe.  So imagine my horror when I went into my pantry yesterday looking for a snack and saw, with the exception of a few cans of soup, nothing but carbohydrates in all it's over-processed glory.  I really have lost touch with... what's that word?  Oh yes; moderation.  Oof.

I MUST reacquaint myself with my old friends...

...But my new friends are so much more fun!!

Choices are okay.

I've often pondered how great and easy it would be if I had a personal chef/nutritionist.  Wouldn't it be terrific if somebody else had the responsibility of making sure I ate properly?  No more worrying about what to eat, what to buy, nor becoming paralyzed in the grocery store.

But I was thinking about The Boyz and their own weight issues and I thought maybe choices and having ownership of my food decisions are better after all.

Max:

Max spent the first half of his life thoroughly and terribly obese.  He had continuous access to food and was treated with cans of tuna.  After he wormed his way into my heart, then my home, he was just a few ounces shy of 30 lbs.  No, that's not a typo.  Thir-tee.  Over the following 7'ish years, we got him down to a relatively healthy 20 lbs.  About 6 months ago he dropped a lot of weight quickly and was diagnosed with a hyper thyroid, poor thing.  He's on meds now, to which he's responding very well, and given new "thyroid health" food which he seems to like.   Of course domestic cats have no choice but to be dependant on their humans, and Max had been dealing with health issues because of it ... but that just underscores my point.  It's better to be responsible for your own food choices.  We may not always make the right choices, but we always have the option to fix them.

Anyway, Max's new food is particularly mushy and he manages to tamp it down into the edges of his bowl while he eats, requiring periodic intervention...

 Nom nom nom ...

 

Ahem, a little fluffing please...

...scrape scrape, fluff fluff ...

 

Thank you.  Nom nom nom ...

Harley:

Harley, on the other hand, was extremely underweight when he adopted us.  He is now at a healthy 70'ish pounds and I actually forgot how thin he was until I looked back at some early pix.  He was living in a kennel with all his hunting littermates and I think they were fed trough-style.  Poor thing was very submissive and was lucky to get the crumbs.   When I got him home, it took a while before he stopped eating EVERYTHING.  He scrambled at anything dropped on the floor and wolfed it down, edible or not.  Towels, gloves... He ate the empty bird seed hulls underneath the bird feeders.  He ate anything and everything organic in the fields we took our walks in.  Yep, that's exactly what I mean.  Deer, rabbit, goose, owl, fox and coyote poo.  Yech.  He also buffet'ed out of Max's litter box when he could sneak it.  When I prepared his food, he'd literally shiver.

He is now robust and healthy.  He also understands that he will eat real food every day and no longer shivers when I prepare his food.  But if you want to observe him eating, don't blink or you'll miss it.

My poor, skinny boy, getting used to his new life with our tiny little pack.

...Much healthier in body and mind.

...and no, he no longer eats poo.

Oh the things I fuss over.

I have been known to spend inordinate amounts of time standing still in the grocery store, paralyzed by all the options. Do we really need a whole aisle dedicated solely to breakfast cereals?  And breads!  Not only does bread occupy an aisle, but if we're lucky, we also have a bakery section where we can find "real" bread... nestled among "real" pies, cakes, donuts & pastries.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very aware of my good luck to HAVE these options, and to be able to afford such choices.   But it's these very choices that plant me in the middle of the food aisles, paralyzed with indecision. 

Another thing I fuss about: how often to weight myself.  Daily?  Weekly?  Do I weigh myself daily but only record weekly?  Do I count the artificially "good" weigh-in, due to dehydration?  Can I (pleeeeease?) discount the "bad" weigh-in due to the uber-salty snacking that took place the night before?  And how accurate is my scale, reeeeeeeealy?

And now I find myself fussing over what I fuss over because maybe it's not just fussin'.  Last week I headed out for work leaving a lit candle in the house.  In recent history I have also left behind various hair-scorching devices still plugged in.  And just yesterday I went through a rather full garbage can looking for the vegetable peeler I knew I accidentally threw away with the carrot peelings... only to find, after giving up the search in frustration, that I put it in the refrigerator with the carrots.  Really?  It might be time to extend my efforts towards weight loss & overall physical health to include brain health.  I don't have family history of Alzheimer's or other such degenerative diseases, but it won't hurt to take ginkgo supplements and do a crossword puzzle every now and then.

So, as I continue sneaking up on the Weight Watchers starting line, I'll start paying a little more attention to balanced meals and my Omega 3, 6, 9, hut-hut-hike!

Breakfast on the fast-track.  I was in a rush to get to the grocery store before the rest of the world rushed out.  Rushing to beat the rush.  Something's not quite right about that.

Last night's dinner: lentils, Brussels and mashed potatoes & carrots. Looks bland but it wasn't, thanks to bay leaves, Earth Balance, salt, pepper and powders au onion & garlic.  Hubby's dinner plate looked just like this with the addition of a marinated and grilled pork chop.

By the way, the best, Best, BEST marinade ever.  Seriously.

After Christmas I'll start weighing & measuring my food and counting & logging my points again.  But not before I clear out the Christmas yummies quickly accumulating in my house.  By "clear out" do I mean "eat up"?  If that's what it takes.  I'm such a trooper.

 

 But now it's time to hole up in the spare bedroom and wrap some gifts... none of which will be stashed under the tree.  The reason being:

 

 

 

That's my boy.  oxoxoxoxox.

 

 

 



Baseline

Creeping up on the starting line.  This weekend is one of simple mindfulness as opposed to strict portion control and obsessive point counting (soon, though.  soon.)  However,  I am setting today's weight as my baseline... for no other reason than it's a nice, round number.  "Nice" being a complete misnomer of course.

Morning fix w/ two hits of methadone and a splash of Silk soy creamer.



Morning experiment: Onion & sweet potato "hash" (yum!).  It's more like home fries but I cut them into itty-bitties making it look more hash-like.  Why itty-bitties?  It cooks faster.  I was hungry.  And then the humanely raised/harvested egg over-easy and a slice of Vermont brand "Yoga" bread toast with a smear (shmear?) of Earth Balance "butter" ("buttah").  If I were to guess at WW points for this, I'd estimate 7.  Or, for 7 points I could have one Entenmann's chocolate donut.  Mmmmm.  Donuuuuuuts.

 

For those already in the know, I strive towards vegetarianism and ideally (eventually) veganism.  These past couple months I have strayed waaaayyyy off track in that regard, making justifications every bite of the way.  I have come to realize however, that animal protein serves me well.   My appetite seems better regulated and I'm not hit with sudden, devastating crashes of hunger mid-morning or mid-afternoon.  I'll be pondering that as part of my mindful awareness and seeing where that takes me.  I know for now I'm putting veganism on the back burner and will enjoy eggs and dairy products.  We'll revisit my dreams of tofu and lentils a little further down the line.

 

 

"Certified Humane".  Of course anything can be slapped on a label nowadays... but I'd like to think truth in labeling isn't a complete fantasy.



"you gon'na finish that?"



Sneaking up...

Who in her right mind would choose the holiday season to begin/resume her weight loss efforts?  Yeah... that would be me.  In fact, I haven't chosen THE day to officially start measuring food portions and counting points and perhaps I don't have to.  I will take the next couple weeks to make small adjustments towards that end.  Sort of warm up to it all.  Sneak up on the starting line, maybe toe it for a little while.

That being said, today I made some reasonable food choices, and some not-so-reasonable ones.  Reasonable: Multigrain Cheerios and vanilla almond milk for breakfast and a banana for a morning snack.  Arguably reasonable: a felafel pita w/ tzatziki sauce.  Unarguably unreasonable: three servings of a home-made chocolate log w/ fresh whipped cream, several cookies, more than several chocolate kisses... ~sigh~  I freely confess to an addiction to sugar.   Seriously.  I'm starting to wonder if my typical weekend caffeine withdrawal headache is actually a sugar crash.

Knowing that there are millions of others who have the same addiction should make it easier to overcome, but alas...  Hello, my name is Julia and I'm a sugar-holic {Hi Julia}.  I've been clean for three hours, 27 minutes {low mumbles of support}.  My first sugar high occurred when I was 18 months old and my mother gave me that first bite of Hostess cupcake.  I've spent the following 49 years chasing the high. {mumbles of empathy}.

My goal for this weekend is to foster mindfulness, and reeeeeeeally focus on the amount of sugar I consume.  I will follow up with my report of shame ~er~ results.



My drug of choice.



 

Methadone.

My sponsor.